Is compromise necessary in relationships ?

A friend and some clients recently got me thinking about compromise in relationships. Should we compromise or not? Does compromise only ever chip away at who you are until you’ve created a false persona to fit the likes and needs of the other? Or does compromise in it’s healthy light (and does this even exist?) allow for two people to respect each others needs and work through problems? I compromised less in my last relationship than any before (I believe!) and yet on reflection I’m able to notice a few biggies.

One was my more fiery side, the sun in Leo, the bit that kinda likes to do what it wants when it wants (yes, princess syndrome!) be loud or quiet, serious or playful. It wasn’t that I didn’t express this side, it was just that I toned it down on occasions when I knew he wasn’t in the mood for it, and of course over time this led to some suppression. In the end I wonder if it really was necessary or helpful. I felt like I was holding in who I was wanting to be like a breath that gets stuck at the back of your throat, and as a result he didn’t get to experience the truth of who I was in that moment.

I’ve also been wondering if compromise essentially feeds the other persons issues, projections, ego, Eckhart Tolle’s ‘pain body’; which again seems a disservice to both parties. When I remember to connect into consciousness and look at this question, I sense that one area not to compromise is the voice of my soul. My experience is that compromise is not even a question when coming from this light, there is nothing to fight against and thus compromise does not exist in the first place; in these times I feel connected to oneness and from a space beyond my mind, I find my words and actions come from my soul, my love for being part of universal oneness, trusting in my knowing that whatever happens, it is perfect in that moment.

In essence

• Is compromise ever needed or healthy?
• What does healthy compramise look like?
  
• I feel I’m moving further away from wanting, needing acceptance or compromise in my life – could be an interesting experiment...will let you know the findings!!