Is compromise necessary in relationships ?

A friend and some clients recently got me thinking about compromise in relationships. Should we compromise or not? Does compromise only ever chip away at who you are until you’ve created a false persona to fit the likes and needs of the other? Or does compromise in it’s healthy light (and does this even exist?) allow for two people to respect each others needs and work through problems? I compromised less in my last relationship than any before (I believe!) and yet on reflection I’m able to notice a few biggies.

One was my more fiery side, the sun in Leo, the bit that kinda likes to do what it wants when it wants (yes, princess syndrome!) be loud or quiet, serious or playful. It wasn’t that I didn’t express this side, it was just that I toned it down on occasions when I knew he wasn’t in the mood for it, and of course over time this led to some suppression. In the end I wonder if it really was necessary or helpful. I felt like I was holding in who I was wanting to be like a breath that gets stuck at the back of your throat, and as a result he didn’t get to experience the truth of who I was in that moment.

I’ve also been wondering if compromise essentially feeds the other persons issues, projections, ego, Eckhart Tolle’s ‘pain body’; which again seems a disservice to both parties. When I remember to connect into consciousness and look at this question, I sense that one area not to compromise is the voice of my soul. My experience is that compromise is not even a question when coming from this light, there is nothing to fight against and thus compromise does not exist in the first place; in these times I feel connected to oneness and from a space beyond my mind, I find my words and actions come from my soul, my love for being part of universal oneness, trusting in my knowing that whatever happens, it is perfect in that moment.

In essence

• Is compromise ever needed or healthy?
• What does healthy compramise look like?
  
• I feel I’m moving further away from wanting, needing acceptance or compromise in my life – could be an interesting experiment...will let you know the findings!!

Embracing the Feminine in our Yoga Practice

I was asked by a number of my yoga students why my classes felt different to a lot of the yoga they were used to and on reflection I realised it was because my style draws a lot on feminine principles... This led me to writing the below piece which I then shared with my students (also can be found on my website at http://www.oliviaworks.co.uk/index.php/yoga/22).

"It is important to restore the essential balance in the world between the masculine and feminine energies. The bird of humanity cannot fly with one wing” Vivekananda

A lot of the world we live in is masculine and this is also reflected in the yoga on offer, which traditionally has a strong masculine slant.

There is a growing movement for balance - both internally and in the world around us. Integrating a feminine yoga practice is a way of redressing this balance through the mind, body, spirit and then through our inner and outer worlds.

My classes combine a masculine and feminine approach to yoga asana and pranayama to help redress that balance in all areas of your life.

Yoga is more than just exercise, it impacts all areas of our lives and so the benefit of having a balanced masculine and feminine yoga practice can also be seen in our everyday and working lives, bringing this balance off our yoga mats and into these areas – which is great news for the world of work for example, which has traditionally been more masculine.

A little more depth about the Feminine Style of Yoga

The concept of feminine yoga may seem unusual or unfamiliar, especially to those who do quite a bit of yoga. Why? Because largely speaking, yoga asana (asana being the poses we do) has a very masculine slant, the most simplistic reason for this being that the yogis who devised the path of yoga where men, designing it for the spiritual evolvement of men. It’s not that women were not welcome in the yoga world, they just weren’t at its hub in its time of creation in many ways.

A little nugget for those who enjoy history... Krishnamacharya, was one of the first Indians (in modern times) to teach women yoga, due to his fear that yoga would die out if left to the men who had business on their minds more than the practice of yoga (1888-1989).

These days, women are very much in the world of yoga – in fact you could say the vast majority of yogi’s in the west are women. And so, it makes sense that it was only a matter of time before a more feminine style of yoga came through, to honour all the women practicing yoga asana, as well as to create more of a balance of yin and yang, masculine and feminine.

It is interesting to see the rise of more feminine approaches to yoga as well as teachers looking to incorporate a balance of both the masculine and feminine / yin and yang, my sense is that this trend will only continue to rise.

So how do you spot feminine yoga VS masculine yoga?

The main thing to remember is that whether man or women, boy or girl, we all need both of these styles of yoga to maintain a healthy yoga practice, just as we need both the masculine and feminine in all areas of our lives to remain balanced.

Feminine Approach to Yoga	Masculine Approach to Yoga
Creative Explorative: enjoying the journey (instead of end goal/ final asana/pose). Softer movements e.g. soft bent elbows. Pulsing, moving with the ebb and flow of breath, body and inner fluids Breath intuitively guiding the bodies movement Dynamic flow in and out of asanas Intuitive spontaneous movement Circular, spiralling movements, hip circles – keeping the pelvis active. Spinal focus, through spinal rocking, shaking and vibrating movements Practicing for the fun of it	Precision and focus on alignment Structured practice Logical class structure Goal-oriented – want to be able to achieve certain pose, increase flexibility etc Linear-thinking – and linear movement e.g. straight arms and movement Bandhas – locks in which you keep the breath / prana, within the body Strong breathing (pranayama) practices for a specific means Holding a pose in a strong static way Power, control and strength
Feminine Styles in circulation:	Classic Masculine Yoga Styles:
Scaravelli Angela Farmer Mark Whitwell Shiva Rea Yin Yoga Shakti Yoga Kundalini Yog	Bikram Iyengar Ashtanga Power Yoga